I am sitting here in my bolt hole in Bulgaria around the pool, the sun Is shining and the music is playing it a dream place to be and I’m spending two month alone here working on trying to finish my dub step album. It’s the end of a series that’s taken me 10 years to make and it’s time I got it finished. But I’m round the pool and there are loads of other people here mostly (the last few weeks) from Russia and although our language is different it’s clear to me that we are actually no different, we all want the same things, we are all striving to get through life and succeed and try not to have the pressure of life get us down. The thing is I look at all these people in the pool and smiling and enjoying themselves and all I feel is a pointless feeling, as if it’s a circle of life that goes no where, then I hear the seagulls laughing and suddenly I feel emotionally happy.
Why is it that it takes the laughter of the seagulls to perk me up, I mean I’m living a dream life in a place that’s amazing and it’s sunny and filled with holiday and party people.
Depression is not so simple to explain but then I see many children being pushed around in prams and it makes me smile again they are so fragile and expect nothing from the world, they have no sense of racism or hate, they are just open to all the experiences the word can offer them and I, for a moment, hope that they will change things for the better, but I know it’s not that simple and it’s us that have to trail a path to make their lives easier with less hate for their future. why can’t we do that?,
How can we make a difference to let the new bread of children grow up in a better tomorrow? I wish there was a simple answer or a way for us to all unite and change things but then I come to the conclusion of despair again. I have negotiated the conversation back to where it began, depression, no hope for change why!
Until we can stop the religious programming of each new generation. This world we give to our children will always have war and intollerance.