The absolute truth about me and the reality of most people although they might not want to agree with me?
or maybe this is uniqually me ..
Who am I… Mark Ryder AKA Mark Ruff Ryder?
I’m actually just a knob head and a bit of an idiot sometimes , not in the uneducated way because I am very educated in reality, which is why I can say the things I say, but I’m not educated in a PHD or some convoluted anal degree in making paper cups.
I have been very successful making music but I always keep out of the hype and bullsh*t and the fakery of it all.
I’m a humanist and a realist, totally true to reality which in my case gives me depression, as living in the really real world of true knowledge about what life is really about is depressing. I’m surviving and I’m very unique in that I know what I’m doing most of the time. I’m not a worker ant, if I was an ant I would be the one that didn’t fit in and wouldn’t do what I was designed or designated to do I would leave the nest and find my own way in life.. well that actually is me.
I’m a miss-fit, but I say that with reverence because that’s what makes me special. I refer to myself as a geek, imagine the one with no friends at school and that was me but it was a choice because I didn’t want to be part of gangs and followers my childhood was not smooth.
I think in a global… no a galactic way and I can see things most people don’t have time to see because they are too busy being the worker ants they have been designed to be.
Did I say I’m a arsehole? I am that also yes I have a kind of bi-polar opinion of myself because I am as honest about myself as I am about life.
I know I don’t fit in and I’m not the cool flashy wanna be famous music bull sh*tter either, I constantly make mistakes in life, I get drunk sometimes and overly flirt (not cool), lonely most of the time and I don’t enjoy being around flashy people and prefer to be invisible 90% of the time. I love being around everyday people but find it hard to find them as most people live life either in a rush for the next big thing or are living a fake life inside the matrix.
I know I can be a complete idiot because I’m a realist but because of the way I live and the freedom I have (thanks to my music success) I can just move on from it.
Personally I would say that my most favourite asset is that I have a memory like a fish when it comes to daily management of days weeks and months, names faces, meeting, the 2 seconds that just passed let alone years. I run in a parallel dimension to everyday life as I don’t have any format to the days or the weeks don’t get up for work or have a weekend ever day is new although it can be boring.
My mind is rarely in the past (because i can not remember it) and so I am always looking ahead, I just pick myself up from my failings of the other day and continue into the unknowing future ahead of me. Yes it’s embarrassing to think about the moments of stupidity I do have (I don’t think there have been that many) but I really don’t want to be around people that use every moment of sanity just telling me what a knob I was when I ……
The past can not be changed and I can not conform. My world allows me to be creative in ways others can not, it also allows me to escape all the hate and negativity in the world (although in reality it never leaves my mind). Until recently I though I could make no difference but, I have a plan.
Life is too shot to be around people who seem to live to make you remember the worst parts of being human so I’m just telling you all this now so you know that I’m that imperfect person and I don’t want to offend anyone. I don’t actually think I ever have offended anyone in a hateful way because my heart is kind an I love the good in people too much to ever push negativity over positivity.
But … I see so much suffering around me. The whole planet is at war and I feel helpless in making a difference. I post issues on my Facebook that are negative in their reality and I know that can offend some, but only because they choose to ignore the truth we all should be dealing with.
I keep myself away from other peoples shallow but enjoyable lives, as I don’t want to burst their bubbles and i know I’m a knob.
I put my own mind into Willy Wonkers world when I need to find my bubble but I know it’s not real but it’s my make believe, to bring back the wonder of humanity which I wish we all had.
I have a knack of going into self destruct when I get too successful and offending my own integrity (like this blog) but that is who I am this is why I prefer to live in the shadows of popularity, I’m just a broken man who over thinks and then messes up and in between these moments of Idiocy, I actually am, very very focused at what I do and I do it like no other in music (that I know).
I am able to know how skilled I am but know it’s just another way of proving I’m a knob head for knowing. I know everything I need to know but continue to lean more (Yes I can be contradicting also) I consistently make moments of defining dance music in every style of the UK Underground and have been doing this in dance music since the Acid house music days (see makes me sound like a dick).
I live a charmed life outside of the rat race and the media hype of the music business. No one even knows how I can do what I do without all the hype others seem to need, but good music always finds its audience and I have been very lucky in this regard.
I have spent the last 14 years creating a massive iTunes Lp story and it’s time to start releasing this and a lot of other music. I know the tight rope I walk will once again start to quiver and shake. This blog is a testament to this but it’s a cycle of reality between finding supporters that understand my music and making a difference in a positive way for them and me (as selling music allows me to live my unique creative lifestyle) while always not becoming the full blown PR puppet that others need to get their message out.
Highs and lows success and disappear this is my patten. There is so much music on its way, I can feel my self destruct switch rising in front of me as what i have coming is amazingly great (Yes I know ..dick again).
So I’m setting the bar here with these truths before I release any dance music.
I don’t want any preconceptions of me as this is who I am, a broken misfit where music is the key and the story in the music can become your story not mine. Just enjoy the ride I have created for what it is , An escape and also with a humanity changing message if you can find it .
I’m not changing anything about me as my world is what it is. I’m just putting my dance music out and and letting you all know in advance that no one can expect anything more from me as I’m not a PR person.
Don’t judge unless you want to be judged . I put my hands up to not being the cool perfect Mark Ryder person others think I should be in the music game but I live in a real world and I create escape using dance music and i know this gets me and others through the day. I believe that dance music is the key to freedom for all and I have realised I have a message to send which I can send through dance music. So strap in and the ride might get Ruff but hopefully you will love it.
Just remember ..
There is no room in my life for trying to be cool ..but if you want arsehole I have that in abundance ..:)
You need to remember this about me as the world you think popular people live in is all fake and i don’t do that to sell music or anything else.
I love being under the popular radar but with the need to sell music and as i don’t want free music downloads of all my hard work I have to balance my need for sales and the freedom i get from the sales to stay unplugged.
So my reality needs to be clear to you all as there can be no expectations of me dancing to your requirements because you bought something of mine and think you own me. I’m just not that person to jump through hoops for anyone.
Hopefully amazing music will bring positivity to you and others in need of a baseline infusion and we will be even on that trade and we can just respect each others differences…. The world is a messed up place we need dance music to escape.
Just remember who I really am.. Please Sign up on my web site for the exclusive freebees and free music downloads , and real samples of whats coming…